Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
