I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
