Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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