so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
