Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
