put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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