Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
