help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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