bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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