My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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