I wish I could punch you in the face.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
