I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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