Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
