Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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