So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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