i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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