the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
