I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize