No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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