Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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