my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
