I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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