Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.

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  (313) 1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head. http://tfl.nu/u795
  Replies (0) Good night (1647) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.

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  (205): Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle. http://tfl.nu/4ixk
  Replies (16) Good night (585) Bad night (1419)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.

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  (858): I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it. http://tfl.nu/e9ge
  Replies (26) Good night (2013) Bad night (2844)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night

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  (714): you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night http://tfl.nu/yh1g
  Replies (4) Good night (689) Bad night (4732)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.

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  (313): Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good. http://tfl.nu/3acn
  Replies (19) Good night (1331) Bad night (6207)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees

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  (360): He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees http://tfl.nu/gf2k
  Replies (19) Good night (4909) Bad night (2678)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.

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  (951): my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands. http://tfl.nu/553v
  Replies (21) Good night (4394) Bad night (1091)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.

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  (347): These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever. http://tfl.nu/3sd9
  Replies (14) Good night (3529) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day

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  (904): I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day http://tfl.nu/k829
  Replies (6) Good night (2162) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories

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  (217): I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories http://tfl.nu/vqmd
  Replies (6) Good night (1737) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.

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  (936): He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again. http://tfl.nu/4f76
  Replies (27) Good night (636) Bad night (2332)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.

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  (270): it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring. http://tfl.nu/qdw6
  Replies (7) Good night (538) Bad night (1292)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.

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  (310): Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded. http://tfl.nu/s8id
  Replies (11) Good night (740) Bad night (1757)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail

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  (315): Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail http://tfl.nu/sj7w
  Replies (5) Good night (858) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.

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  (918): So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus. http://tfl.nu/cj4t
  Replies (2) Good night (520) Bad night (280)

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