Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  apparently the secret to your success is patron

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  (914): apparently the secret to your success is patron http://tfl.nu/m5sk
  Replies (7) Good night (2551) Bad night (581)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video

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  (914): Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video http://tfl.nu/m72m
  Replies (43) Good night (11484) Bad night (1046)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.

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  (352): You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem. http://tfl.nu/rwe9
  Replies (12) Good night (5179) Bad night (751)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.

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  (815): May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago. http://tfl.nu/4qky
  Replies (10) Good night (6724) Bad night (1192)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.

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  (414): My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with. http://tfl.nu/07fq
  Replies (158) Good night (2724) Bad night (12741)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.

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  (314): Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day. http://tfl.nu/blek
  Replies (4) Good night (3252) Bad night (1058)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?

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  (850): if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair? http://tfl.nu/1ccg
  Replies (6) Good night (993) Bad night (1478)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.

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  (770): Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire. http://tfl.nu/2u40
  Replies (4) Good night (1194) Bad night (625)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.

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  (434): It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually. http://tfl.nu/a0fb
  Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (369)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?

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  (314): Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave? http://tfl.nu/zqej
  Replies (3) Good night (716) Bad night (297)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.

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  (479): He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes. http://tfl.nu/8po9
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (343)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break

  (425): View more from Washington

  Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.

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  (425): Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break (425): Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk. http://tfl.nu/ki3s
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (433)
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  (805): View more from California

  Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.

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  (805): Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch. http://tfl.nu/6qlc
  Replies (6) Good night (783) Bad night (348)
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  (510): View more from California

  I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...

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  (510): I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night... http://tfl.nu/bk6r
  Replies (1) Good night (535) Bad night (363)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days

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  (513): Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days http://tfl.nu/n2se
  Replies (2) Good night (361) Bad night (178)

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