I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
