I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.