Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.