Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs

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  (908): im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs http://tfl.nu/kfrc
  Replies (19) Good night (1211) Bad night (2389)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.

  (917): View more from New York City

  dollar well spent

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  (802): last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears. (917): dollar well spent http://tfl.nu/wmsi
  Replies (15) Good night (3378) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cont stop tolking in a british axsent

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  (215): I cont stop tolking in a british axsent http://tfl.nu/j2m9
  Replies (45) Good night (4200) Bad night (1126)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.

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  (401): I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on. http://tfl.nu/shul
  Replies (22) Good night (4626) Bad night (1211)
• Favorite

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away

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  (848): it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away http://tfl.nu/wxvn
  Replies (17) Good night (1057) Bad night (6258)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.

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  (307): if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself. http://tfl.nu/s9we
  Replies (64) Good night (2032) Bad night (4940)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub

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  (310): I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub http://tfl.nu/zgaw
  Replies (7) Good night (3816) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"

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  (407): I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist" http://tfl.nu/osi4
  Replies (5) Good night (2012) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Can't be the first without the last

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  (518): Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics? (978): Can't be the first without the last http://tfl.nu/ya96
  Replies (5) Good night (2586) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.

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  (281): I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that. http://tfl.nu/d3y7
  Replies (7) Good night (625) Bad night (1445)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up

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  (780): Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up http://tfl.nu/x63c
  Replies (5) Good night (1182) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.

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  (201): sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now... (732): I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by. http://tfl.nu/2bov
  Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.

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  (919): Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate. http://tfl.nu/d4gp
  Replies (10) Good night (861) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.

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  (304): I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying. http://tfl.nu/hrb6
  Replies (6) Good night (996) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check

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  (313): doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check http://tfl.nu/g53m
  Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (222)

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