youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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