Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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