operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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