your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it's like iHOP with fire
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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