Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize