? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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