I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
