shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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