Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
is wine microwaveable?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
