I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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