her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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