I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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