It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
