So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
last night I used snow as a chaser
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
