Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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