Betty ford says i'm here all night
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
