now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
