You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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