I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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