wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
