No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize