is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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