I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
