drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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