In the future we'll all be gay
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Randomize
