I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
