I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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