I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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