i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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