God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
