Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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