I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
