the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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