I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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