Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My vagina just clenched in fear
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
