Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
