you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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