Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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