i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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