Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
