He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
