upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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