McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
