She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Come share oat with me in your robe
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
